Day 19 – F Fear
Lately I’ve felt like my brain is full of all of the difficult choices I’m not making. Opportunities seem to creep up on me, but they aren’t what I’m seeking and the work I’m putting in to create the opportunities I want seems like it’s in vain. I think it was Rumi that said, “What you seek is seeking you,” but sometimes it really doesn’t feel that way. I’m out there with a bullseye, but what I’m looking for can’t seem to find me, no matter how hard I chase it down. (And no, I’m not talking about a relationship.)
In the end it feels like the things I have to choose from aren’t the things I want. But I know I can throw caution to the wind; I can make the choice to pick up and go at any time – make the move I want to make and trust that I will be financially okay. That is a choice I can make, and it’s terrifying. I sure could use a sign.